Hello Reader!​

Sometimes you have to stop preparing and start doing!

Procrastination is a big part of my perfectionist protective pattern and stops me from doing so much because it has to be just so. But I got a 77% on a test and for the first time ever, I am ecstatic about it!

I passed the Small Unmanned Aircraft System test and that's all that matters. When I told my son that I'd take the test so I could supervise his droning business, I had no idea there would be aeronautical charts to be read! But I picked a date, paid the fee, and had him study with me. (He picked it up much faster - big surprise!)

I was actually nervous the morning of the test. I had to go to a flight school to take it by a local airport. I really didn't want to fail and have to take a course to retake it. Plus, we were ready to get going!

If I hadn't set the date and time, I probably would have pushed it off at least another week. I woke up with a cold and was feeling overwhelmed. But I made a commitment not only to myself but to my son so I did it. And I'm so glad I did! I'm the proud owner of a Temporary Airman's Certificate!

Here's how to push past the protective patterns that can slow you down and stop you from living your life to the fullest!

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Feel

Getting honest about what's underneath the delay

Recognize that "not ready" is usually fear wearing a disguise

There's a feeling that lives underneath procrastination that we rarely name out loud. It's not actually about the thing being unfinished. It's about what happens if you finish it and it still isn't good enough. If you put it out there and it doesn't land. If you try and find out that trying wasn't enough.

Procrastination is protective. It keeps that moment from arriving. You can't fail something you haven't done yet, and you can't be judged for something you haven't shared. The next time you feel yourself "not ready," sit with it for a second and ask honestly: what am I actually afraid of finding out? The answer is usually more useful than another week of preparation.

Feel the difference between productive preparation and hiding

There is real preparation and then there is preparation as avoidance, and they feel almost identical from the inside. Both involve research. Both involve thinking. Both can look extremely productive from the outside. The difference is whether the preparation is moving you toward action or away from it.

A useful question: has the extra preparation actually changed what you know or can do, or has it just made you feel more in control of a situation you're afraid to enter? Real preparation has a natural endpoint. Avoidance-as-preparation never feels finished because finished isn't the actual goal. Staying safe is.

Sit with the discomfort of imperfect conditions

I took a certification test with a cold. Not ideal. Not the conditions I would have chosen. But here's what I've learned the hard way: the perfect conditions are almost never coming and waiting for them is one of the most effective ways to make sure nothing ever gets done.

The discomfort of doing something before you feel fully ready is real. It deserves to be acknowledged, not dismissed. But it's also temporary, and the discomfort of staying stuck is permanent. Feel both of those truths at the same time and then decide which one you'd rather live with.

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Change

Shifting the way you think about action and imperfection

Trade "it has to be perfect" for "it has to be done"

A 77% that exists is worth infinitely more than a 100% that doesn't. I know that intellectually but I also know how hard it is to feel it when your protective pattern is screaming at you that anything less than excellent isn't worth sharing. That voice is lying to you. It has always been lying to you.

The perfectionist protective pattern developed for a reason; it kept you safe from judgment and failure at some point in your life. But it also keeps you from finishing things, sharing things, and sometimes from starting things at all. Done at 77% helped my son start his business. Perfect sitting in a drawer helps nobody.

Change the story about what failure actually means

One of the things that makes perfectionism so powerful is the story it tells about what a bad outcome means. Not just "that didn't work" but "that proves something about who I am." When failure is identity-level threat, of course you avoid it. Of course you prepare forever. Of course you wait for conditions that make success feel guaranteed.

But failure is just data. It tells you what to adjust, where the gap is, what to study before you try again. I would have retaken the test. It would have been fine. The fear of that outcome was bigger than the outcome itself ever could have been, which is almost always true. The thing we're afraid of is rarely as catastrophic as the fear makes it feel.

Recognize that your protective pattern has a cost you're not always counting

We think about the cost of acting before we're ready. We almost never think about the cost of waiting. My son's business was on hold. The certification was hanging. Every week I delayed was a week we weren't moving forward, and I was so focused on not being embarrassed by a bad test score that I almost missed that entirely.

Your protective pattern is protecting you from something. But it's also costing you something. Start naming both sides of that equation honestly. What would actually happen if this didn't go perfectly? And what is continuing to wait actually costing you? Put those answers next to each other and see which risk is actually bigger.

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Build

Systems that make action harder to avoid than starting

Set the date and pay the fee before you're ready

This is the single most effective thing I did. I committed out loud, I put money down, and I told my son. At that point not showing up had a cost that felt higher than the discomfort of showing up unprepared. I had engineered a situation where action was easier than inaction.

Whatever your version of this looks like - booking the appointment, sending the email, paying the deposit, announcing it to someone who will ask about it - do that first. Do it before you feel ready. Readiness is a feeling that procrastination is very good at preventing. External commitment bypasses the feeling and goes straight to the action.

Find your person to do it with

I studied with my son. He learned it faster than me, which was both humbling and extremely motivating. Having someone in it with you changes everything. Not because they hold you accountable in a formal way but because now your action or inaction affects someone else, and most of us will do for others what we won't consistently do for ourselves.

This doesn't have to be elaborate. A friend who's working on something at the same time. A co-worker who knows about your goal and will ask how it's going. Someone to send your finished thing to before you talk yourself out of sharing it. The goal is to get other people into the equation so that forward momentum becomes about more than just your own willpower, which is a limited resource and can be a shaky thing to build a goal on.

Start so small that your protective pattern doesn't notice

Big goals are where perfectionism thrives. The larger and more important the thing, the louder the protective pattern gets, the more preparation feels justified, the easier it is to never begin. So make the first step small enough that it barely registers as a real attempt.

Not "launch the business" but "write down three things the business would do." Not "write the book" but "write one paragraph today." Not "get certified" but "look up when the next test date is." The protective pattern is watching for you to try something real so it can kick in and tell you all the reasons you're not ready. A step small enough to feel like nothing slips right past it. And then you do it again. And again. Until one day you look up and realize you're most of the way there.

I am the proud owner of a Temporary Airman's Certificate and a 77% that I earned with a head cold and a kid who catches on faster than me. It is one of my favorite things I've ever done.

Your 77% is out there waiting. Go get it.

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What's the thing you've been preparing for a little too long? Hit reply and tell me - sometimes saying it out loud is the commitment that starts everything.

Have a lovely day! - Kate

PS

Pen-A-Pal

My daughter hosted her first free letter writing booth for her vintage letter writing business! (Yes, they are calling regular snail mail letters 'vintage' these days 😩) She only had one kiddo fill out a letter but gave away 2 business cards to adults interested for their kids. She was feeling a little let down but I told her that was 3 people who didn't know about Pen-A-Pal before she told them!

If you know anyone who would love a handwritten letter in the mail, please check out her website. It makes a great gift from a grandparent and encourage kiddos to write to their own family!

​Pen-A-Pal is a monthly service that sends handwritten letters including stickers.

​https://pen-a-pal.com/​

When you sign up there is a place to put in topics the recipient is interested in reading about and if you sign up for premium, the letter incudes paper and a stamped envelope to write Bee back or send to friend or family member!

You can also follow along on her journey on Instagram! Thanks for your support!

​https://www.instagram.com/penapalletters​