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Kate York

💌 I write the Feel Change Build newsletter about trusting your emotions, transforming your thought patterns, and building lives that break the mold through the science of expanding who you already are.

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💌 Find Happiness in the In-between

Hello Reader! I love starting things and finishing things but I hate the in-between. That messy middle where you’re not sure if it’s all going to come together. The loose paper before that final tuck in origami. The last piece of hair that can’t be pinned down before the others. That thread you can’t tighten until all the stitches are in place. I HATE it. It’s why I don’t do crafts and almost cried the other night trying to help my son with an origami project for school. I don’t know if it’s...

Couple watching the news

Hello Reader! Being in a swing district, our political ads are out of control. And my kids are literally yelling, "Shut up!" at the TV. But I've been trying to teach them to think critically and so I've been asking, "What is this ad trying to make you feel?" And 9 times out of ten, we've identified that it's either anger or fear. And since anger comes from fear, we've determined that all of these ads are just trying to scare us. Then we look at what the person or group running the ad has to...

Woman hiding in sweater

Hello Reader! The busier we get, the easier it is to say, "I don't have time for that!" But what are we really giving up? MEET THE AVOIDER I added a sixth protective pattern this month. For a long time Feel Change Build had five: the Over-Achiever, the People Pleaser, the Controller, the Invisible, and the Hyper-Independent. I liked five. Five is tidy. Five fits on a graphic. But I kept running into people the five did not describe. Smart, capable people who were not burning out, not...

Woman at computer

Hello Reader! The discussion women should be having about AI shouldn't be about if, but when. And when is now. I've been using AI to vibe-code apps that I never thought possible. Apps that can protect my personal privacy, grow my business, and teach my kids. Through LLMs, we have access the largest research library ever known, and women are missing out because they feel guilty using it or fear it. But this technology is going on with or without us. We are important in shaping not only its...

Woman Resting Head in Hands

Hello Reader! After having my prayers answered in the most roundabout way, I'm convinced I'm here to learn patience. And both books I'm currently reading, Big Trust by Dr. Shadé Zahrai and Fayçal Sekkouah, and Wisdom Untethered by Michael A. Singer, focus on having patience with not only yourself but with the world around you. I love reading books that come to the same problem from different directions, one from science and one from faith. I don't really see why we have such a hard time...

Woman holding head in hands

Hello Reader! "The key to self-mastery is self-forgetting." - Abdu'l-Bahá In Big Trust by Shade Zahrai and Faycal Sekkouah, the founder of the Baha'i Faith is quoted. When we focus on ourselves, we worry about what others think and if we're not good enough. When we focus on what we are doing and bringing to the world, we forget about ourselves, therefore enabling us to be our best selves. Think about it: when great athletes are in the zone, they aren't thinking about how they look or how...

A teacher

Hello Reader! I'm thinking of all the teachers out there as we go back to school and how much I appreciate their hard work. I'm so grateful that they chose their profession and think we could all benefit from being more like them. TEACHING IS THE GREATEST ACT OF OPTIMISM "Teaching is the greatest act of optimism." - Colleen Wilcox Back to school season has a particular energy to it that I don't think ever fully leaves us even after our own school days are long behind us. Something about the...

People holding hands on a beach

Hello Reader! Halloween decorations in July are training us to skip the present. Here's the science of savoring and why this imperfect summer is worth receiving. HOW TO SAVOR THE REST OF SUMMER The back to school supplies are already being pushed aside for Halloween decorations at my local store. In July. I know I'm not alone in finding this mildly unhinged. And every year I have the same reaction: can we please just be where we are for five minutes before we're asked to be somewhere else?...

Plant growing in a crack

Hello Reader! Choosing to flourish when the world seems designed to prevent it isn't naive. It might be the most radical thing we can do. Here's why. FLOURISHING PART FIVE: Flourishing as Resistance We started this series with a plant. Lush leaves, juicy fruit, perfect conditions. The plant model of flourishing is clean and intuitive and it breaks immediately when you apply it to human beings, because humans do something plants cannot do. We choose. We make meaning. We decide, in the space...

Climate Change

Hello Reader! The most damaging thing we've handed the next generation might not be a broken world. It might be the idea that they have to wait for it to be fixed. FLOURISHING PART FOUR: The Trap What if the most damaging thing we've handed the next generation isn't a broken economy or a destabilized climate or a culture war that never ends? What if it's the idea that they have to wait for all of that to get better before their real life can start? I want to be careful with this one. Because...